Sunday, December 14, 2008
{ 2:30 AM }
its 2.30 in the morning.
juz finished
talking to hy
cos shes sad
and its probbly
my turn now.
i dunno how to begin
i really hope she doesnt read this
but i juz wanna pour it out here.
..
the effort i put in to chasing her.
the heart and soul i put in
the fatigue i endured staying up the night doing stuff for her
i was sick and i still went cold storage to get the stuff
the heart and soul put in.
my everything.
if the person doing this
is taller
more good looking
not as fat.........
its my first time
maybe every other guy did the same damm thing.
and im the onli dick to complain.
when i first told her. she responded negatively to me.
..
i took the reason
she gave me
and shut up
she didnt want.
i dint persist although i persevered.
i did the best
i could
and yet.
..
and yet..
although she made it quite clear
and i already knew from the start
this is probbly the
cruelest blow
that could happen to me this year
the most.
cant believe im actually tearing right now.
ppl might say, its nt her fault. she has a decision to choose
then blame me
blame everything on me
i took it upon myself
trouble dint find me
i find trouble
im still trying to accept wad she say.
maybe its an attempt
to bug me off.
maybe its not.
if she is. then its okay
if shes not.
i swear
why give me
the reason in the first place
again and again i got the same reason
i wun be the person i am again.
no more nice guy.
its not worth it
its juz not worth it.
dun bother typing into the chat box to say cheer up
it doesnt work
if ur sad
i ask u to cheer up
does it work?
no.
it doesnt.
alright
but i still appreciate the gestures that was made in the past
i dun wanna type everything in
cos
idiots
assholes
out there
ARE FREAKIGN GOONNA TAKE IT AND SPREAD
SPREAD SPREAD SPREAD
GO AND DIE LA.
if u dun like me
get out of here.
no one ask u to read.
if ur gonna flame me
after this post on how
stupid i was
dumb i was.
pfft
so be it
i trusted u ppl
and this is how
u treat me back.
id unno who
and i dun wanna know who.
i know i tend to talk alot too.
and
i get my just desserts.
i deserve it.
but thats not the point.
im on the verge of being okay alr.
i was actually gonna treat it as nth happen and its just an experience
when the new year starts
but after wad she said today.
i know
it wun go away that easily.
the wounds open again.
onli god knows how i feel
maybe i get to know how it will feel like to cut yourself
but
maybe not
cos im not gonna do smth so stupid what most ppl out there do.
u know smth, that line u said worked. thanks so much.1 line from u, a chain of suffering and pain.peeerfect.